The truth is

The truth is last week was hard. I wasn’t ready to go back to work. My heart was full of anxiety and bitterness. My mind was full of thoughts on how to adjust, how to fight, and how to work for God’s glory. As much as I prayed, my attitude didn’t change.

The truth is people didn’t show up that were supposed to, my contractual “student-free” time didn’t happen, all the changes weren’t communicated as they should have been, and I never got any answers as to why all this was happening.

The truth is my heart was hard because I refused to let it be soft.

The truth is the changes weren’t as big as I was making them and I could have helped with the communication.

The truth is I held onto everything I knew I needed to rid myself of {1 Peter 2:1} and was refusing to love as I’m called to do {Romans 12:9-21}.

But as Friday morning began and I spent some quiet time with Jesus before work I began to feel the peace settle in, the anxiety and bitterness melting away, and the Holy Spirit reminding me why I do what I do. I teach because I love it. I teach because I can help my students. And I teach because it is what God has called me to do {for now}. I teach because it is my way of loving like Jesus does.

So as another work week begins tomorrow I will hold tightly to the truth that God graciously poured over me because the truth is love is the only way.


When I grow up…

Our entire life people constantly ask us what we want to be when we grow up. Most little kids say a teacher or  firefighter, a mommy, or Spiderman. Ask that same kid a week later and its a doctor or pilot, or even better–Superman!

So what do I want to be when I grow up?

Today’s answer–a teacher that loves God by loving my students.

But here’s the thing….when I grow up I don’t know if I want to be a teacher. I don’t know if this career will always fill me up rather than drain me dry. I don’t know if one day all of my energy, creativity, and desire to teach will be gone. But I do know that right now this is where the Lord has placed me and I find peace and contentment in that. So until then I will strive to do my best, to push my students to learn more, to reach one more goal, and to love on them the best I can. I will find new activities that teach them about the world around them when it doesn’t make sense. I will show them how to love their friends and that this life can be pretty cool even if everyday isn’t routine. I will enter the world of Autism each day and show them a little bit of mine. Until God directs me down a different path I will work each day to bring Him glory.

And here’s the other thing….there are desires in my heart that may one day pull me away from teaching. Desires to be a wife and mom that loves on my babies every single day and doesn’t miss a moment. Desires to serve Jesus by serving my family. Desires to show the love of Jesus to kids that have never known the love of a parent. Desires to demonstrate Christ’s love by helping people when disasters strike. But the great thing is that all of these desires were put in my heart by God himself. Which means He has a plan for my life. Plans that right now I don’t know much about, but I can have peace about because He is directing my steps. And those steps may mean that my life is one day going to turn upside-down or won’t look like I imagine it will {isn’t this always the case?}. But that’s okay and actually kind of rad. If my life is going to one day drastically change, won’t it be great that its for His name’s sake?


Tomorrow’s answer–no idea just as long as it God’s will!

I want to be a woman that seeks after Jesus. That is content in all circumstances. That is eternally grateful for the life God has given me and the paths He has directed me down. I want to be a chick secure in who I am because I am a daughter of the King, who can laugh at the days to come, and lay my burdens now at the foot of the cross. I want to be the type of person that others can look to and say that they will happily follow me as I follow Jesus. I want to be deeply rooted in Christ’s love and radiate joy. I want to be all that He has designed me to be. Don’t you?

So what do you want to be when you grow up? Better yet, who do you want to be?